I Am A Theater Kid

I am a theater kid.

I am a theater kid who hates to be the center of attention.

Now how can this be possible you ask?

You see me stand on the stage confident and loving every second.

But you fail to realize.

That isn’t me.

It’s a character that I become.

On stage I’m not me.

I’m who I wish I could be.

Off the stage I hate being the center of attention.

I hid in baggy clothing.

I hide behind books, scripts, or a computer.

People noticing me scares me.

I’m afraid they’ll ridicule me again.

So I hide.

But not on stage

For there I am alive

I am a theater kid.

Hope Meets Insecure

You know how it goes

Hope meets insecure,

And insecure likes this boy Hope.

But this time it was different

Hope had Beautiful.

He loved Beautiful and wanted to be with her always

Insecure noticed this, she saw he was happy.

And that made her happy too.

Insecure and Hope became friends.

Laughing together and joking together.

Then the Beautiful broke his heart,

And Insecure was there to pick up the pieces and finally admit what she felt

That she really liked him,

That he was truly her hope.

But that didn’t matter.

Hope had found another beauty.

But this time Insecure didn’t think she could stay his friend

Beautiful Uncertainty *A look back*

This poem was written about the same person as "I Love You My Friend". Not surprising because it was written around the same time frame but a couple of months earlier. It really summed up quite well my emotions during the majority of that relationship. Which now that I look back on it dragged out for way too long as it really wasn't a healthy relationship. Seeing as I probably saw my current boyfriend more in the two and a half to three months of a show then I saw the other guy in the about three years that....relationship like thing happened.... yeah lets go with that.

Granted you do spend a ton of time together during shows, especially hell week (for those of you who aren't theater people hell week is show week) but still kinda pathetic.

Beautiful Uncertainty

Smiles and laughter.

Worries and wondering

Talking constantly

Not talking for days.

Clear and concise.

No idea what’s going on.

I never have a clue where I stand.

I know you care I know I care.

But it’s hard for us to show we care.

Fear for this tenuous bond.

Bonded only by turbulent emotions.

Emotions are just chemical impulses.

How can this be real?

When there is never time to bond over things that matter,

We need more than few shared memories and moments.

Even books or movies we both enjoy would be a good start.

It’s hard for me to open up to you

It’s harder for you to do the same

I know so little about you,

You know so little about me.

How can we do this?

How can this possibly last?

I don’t know

I just don’t know

How can I ever know?

What Love Is To Me

You never know how important something or someone will be at first. You may be completely fascinated but grow bored of it so very quickly. It is far rarer to find a feeling that is enduring, where the fascination lasts. Where it’s not just complacency where you just accept what you have as the best that there is, because you’re too scared to look for better. However you may get lucky and find the real thing. A love that endures and changes as you do becoming stronger with time. A love where you find new things to experience, to laugh at, to learn, to appreciate, all of this together as one. With everything, the good, the bad, and the in-between drawing you closer together as a couple.

I Love You My Friend *A look back*

This is a poem that I wrote over a year ago, around March, about someone who had been a pretty big part of my life. Up until this point when I was really starting to develop feelings for someone else, my now boyfriend, he had been the guy that was always there, I really thought I was in love with him. Now I know I wasn't I was in love with the idea of him. Meaning the idea that he loved me so loving him despite everything was what was supposed to happen, supposed to feel right; when it just didn't. But when I started developing strong lasting feelings for someone else, I was confused and this is the result.

I Love You My Friend

I love you.

It isn’t the same as it used to be.

It’s changing

Evolving

Growing

I am aware we can’t be together

Now, and maybe ever.

The suggestion that you made is extremely tempting.

But whatever happens will happen.

I want to try and be friends.

To see what a friendship with you is like.

I know just being friends is a strange concept for us.

But who knows it could be exactly what we need.

So don’t feel guilty for liking someone else.

I truly love you

But

I can,

I will,

Love you as a friend.